I wannas sexs uuuuu
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
