Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.