fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.