i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
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