i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize