I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
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plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
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It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize