She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize