how can u be prego again
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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