My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
