She's JV to your varsity
Say something about gay babies.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Randomize
