I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
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