sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
