You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
