Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
