Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
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