So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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