i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
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