just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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