So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
