why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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