I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
