but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
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i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Found your dick twin last night
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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