Bea Arthur died! :(
Big bird passed.
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs