Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I'm super disappointed in my clit.