When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️