Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
