i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
