Tell her she can't have a vagina
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I need a hoe opinion
go on
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Randomize