i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
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