Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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