it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize