I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
