I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
