i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
