We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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