I think my fart just growled at me.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
