i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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