So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Randomize
