I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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