If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
