Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
