do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize