she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
