I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
