Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
