I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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