do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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