real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
