32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Randomize
