So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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