When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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