He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
