you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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