I didn't shave. On purpose
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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