fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
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She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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