So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Randomize