tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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