Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
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