thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
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my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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